Just been thinking.

I’ve been trying to decide for a while now what my blog actually is. And I think I’ve decided that it is what my mind would look like if you could see it. I love visual aesthetics, both natural and artistic. I love literature, and the power of words, when put together in the right way, to inspire and motivate, or capture emotions, moments, feelings. I love the beauty of language in general, whether it be English, French or Arabic. I love wit and humour, from dry and cynical, to downright silly and immature. I’m always thinking about the state of our world at the moment, and although it saddens me how much cruelty there is, I love the fact that there are good people. Lots of good people. And I do believe that good will prevail over evil, however long it takes. I love talking to people, I love my friends, I love my family. I love beautiful music. I love good films. I love House MD and Doctor Who and Harry Potter and old Disney films. I love expressing myself. I just love writing. Excitement, happiness, fear, sadness, worry, whatever’s on my mind… it doesn’t matter. I love clearing up and articulating my thoughts. It let’s me think so much more clearly. :)

You know your sleep cycle’s messed up when you look at the clock, see it’s 4:30AM and think ‘oh, it’s still kinda early to go to bed…’

Well dat’s what happens when you have Tumblr.

Like this if you want me to check out your blog?

felt like going on a fashion rave.

I have to go study now but I thought of some great new ideas for what I’m gonna blog about this summer. I’m actually really excited now. Two weeks, guys! See you in a bit x

sat with my laptop trying to think of something inspirational to write about.

but the truth is, right now, i do not have any inspirational thoughts. i’m tired and i’m annoyed and i’m stressed. i don’t see why anyone would want to hear my thoughts and random musings, because actually the only thing going through my mind right now is EXAMSEXAMSEXAMSEXAMS. and oh my god… it says exam sex. wow. maybe i should put a spaces in-between that… lol. nahh.

anyway. i like to think that i’m deep and perceptive, and before i had a blog, i always thought that if i ever did have one, i would be able to write long and interesting blog posts every single day. ah well. i do think perhaps my mind is too busy and fatigued with these omnipresent exams. because i do think about things, and i do like writing. two weeks today my exams’ll be over. this summer i’m planning to start writing, properly writing, not just blogging pictures, although rest assured that a stream of beautiful photos will not stop coming your way. i’m going to write about everything and anything; i’m going to be creative and use my imagination. hey who knows, i might do some fictional writing too. maybe that’ll draw a whole new type of followers in.

off to watch House. which reminds me, when I start watching Season 7 I’ll do a review on each episode. and i’ll review every book i read this summer, and every film I see. i’ll also post all the French writing i’m gonna do… and write about my progress in teaching myself AS Level French. see you in a bit! thanks for listening x

hey.

i was just reading back through my blog, and i realised something. i realised that anyone reading it, trying to gain an idea of what i was like, would probably think i was the most depressed girl on the planet. page after page of sad/lonely typographies and photographs, with intermittent posts going, perhaps, into further detail about how lonely i feel, how upset i am. and to tell you the truth, everything i post here is true, it is indeed how i’m feeling, and i do think about it often.

but not all the time.

the truth is, i’m actually a happy person. i like to make the most of everything, i love to laugh, i love my friends, i love shopping and coffee and television and reading and chocolate and nice weather and all the other things which make people happy. i am not a depressed person. yes, there are things in my life i would like to change; yes, i am absolutely infatuated with someone who couldn’t give a shit about me, but in the end… i am happy. my friends are always here for me. always. they’re the most amazing people i’ve ever met, and i’m proud to call them my friends. i’m so lucky, i have parents who care about me, who want the best for me, and are always trying their hardest to make me happy, even if i don’t realise it. i love my school, i love my house, i love my garden.

i just wanted to post this because… i hate ungrateful people. and i truly feel that anyone reading this blog, would think that i was one of those ungrateful people. i have so much opportunity, i’m so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me, who care about me, and i think it’s a shame to dedicate this most of this blog to the small portion of my life that hurts, as opposed to the large portion which makes me happy every single day.

so, i woke up about half an hour ago. my whole family’s gone to London for 2 days except me and my older brother. which is pretty awesome, we’ve never been left for that long on our own. he’s currently making scrambled eggs for us, and i should go down and make some toast/coffee to go with it. and we’re gonna watch House.

life is good. and i’m gonna try to remind myself of that more often. thanks for reading :) xx