i was just reading back through my blog, and i realised something. i realised that anyone reading it, trying to gain an idea of what i was like, would probably think i was the most depressed girl on the planet. page after page of sad/lonely typographies and photographs, with intermittent posts going, perhaps, into further detail about how lonely i feel, how upset i am. and to tell you the truth, everything i post here is true, it is indeed how i’m feeling, and i do think about it often.
but not all the time.
the truth is, i’m actually a happy person. i like to make the most of everything, i love to laugh, i love my friends, i love shopping and coffee and television and reading and chocolate and nice weather and all the other things which make people happy. i am not a depressed person. yes, there are things in my life i would like to change; yes, i am absolutely infatuated with someone who couldn’t give a shit about me, but in the end… i am happy. my friends are always here for me. always. they’re the most amazing people i’ve ever met, and i’m proud to call them my friends. i’m so lucky, i have parents who care about me, who want the best for me, and are always trying their hardest to make me happy, even if i don’t realise it. i love my school, i love my house, i love my garden.
i just wanted to post this because… i hate ungrateful people. and i truly feel that anyone reading this blog, would think that i was one of those ungrateful people. i have so much opportunity, i’m so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me, who care about me, and i think it’s a shame to dedicate this most of this blog to the small portion of my life that hurts, as opposed to the large portion which makes me happy every single day.
so, i woke up about half an hour ago. my whole family’s gone to London for 2 days except me and my older brother. which is pretty awesome, we’ve never been left for that long on our own. he’s currently making scrambled eggs for us, and i should go down and make some toast/coffee to go with it. and we’re gonna watch House.
life is good. and i’m gonna try to remind myself of that more often. thanks for reading :) xx
the first day i take off school, all year, and it’s the day where EVERYTHING happens. doesn’t get much more annoying than that. :(
still, a song by Automatic Loveletter comes to mind…
not there so you’ll notice i’m gone