I started saying shit like “u” “plz” and “rly” ironically but I can’t stop now
Interesting question, but can you just clarify, do you mean what job would I want to have?
Edit: Well since you’re not replying I’ll assume that’s what you mean. And actually, if I didn’t have to bear any consequences, I would want to do so much! I mean at the moment I’ve chosen Medicine and that is what I want to do, but it does upset me sometimes that there are so many things that interest me, that I enjoy, that I will never be able to do, because it’s simply not feasible to do them all! I would still want to be a doctor for a little while, then I’d like to study Law and be a lawyer, be a novelist, do a degree in French then live in an apartment in France and work in a bookshop… become an actress, star in a few really amazing films… then study Maths and Programming and become some sort of programmer. Work for Google. WORK FOR TUMBLR. And be a vlogger/blogger the whole time.
There’s probably a whole lot more I’d like to do too - definitely would want to travel the world. So I guess you could say I’m interested in a lot of things. I think my main problem is that I feel that the world is too big and full of amazing things to do for one tiny life-span. You gotta pick which is annoying, but I am happy with my choices. (Doesn’t mean I’ll stop dreaming about being a famous lawyer/novelist/actress/librarian/blogger/programmer though.)
I wouldn’t call it ‘giving away’ to be honest! I really think I’m going to thoroughly enjoy the medicine course at uni, as well as the training and the job itself. It’s something I have a passion for, I know it’s going to be hard work but it’ll be worth it. What do you think is tough for females, the course or the job? I definitely think both are manageable, even with a husband/kids (as a side note, I am rather flattered by your certainty that I’ll soon be married, but I definitely won’t have kids until I’m settled with my job). I’m lucky to have two great parents who will help me with looking after my kids, until they’re old enough to go to school, and even after that, if they need picking up or whatever. I’m going to do everything I can to make my career fit with my personal life but ultimately, not gonna lie, it will be family first. That might mean that I never reach the top of the career ladder but honestly, that isn’t as important to me as making sure I’m there as a supporting mum/wife for my family.
Oh and also: it’s a very stable job with great pay - something which, although isn’t in itself a good reason for choosing medicine - is definitely a pro during these economic times. I want to do everything I can to make sure me and my family live comfortably!
"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present." John Green, Looking for Alaska
i would love to go to every single one of those places i’ve posted pictures of. why is it that people are so drawn to nature, so drawn to beauty? why do people travel thousands of miles so that they can see landscapes with their own eyes, why do we try to capture this beauty, and why is it never enough just to look at photographs?
i think it’s because we see the imperfections in our lives, all around us, and we want proof that somewhere, there is a glimmer of perfection, that somewhere, we can escape from the world and just be on our own, that somewhere, we can be free.
beautiful scenery makes me happy, because when i see it, i remember how much of the world there is left for me to explore, how much opportunity there is out there, for me, and how lucky i am to live. just, to live. it’s so special. i want to make the most out of it, i want to be the very best that i can be, i want to prove to those that thought i couldn’t that i will be who i want to be. i will.
i was just reading back through my blog, and i realised something. i realised that anyone reading it, trying to gain an idea of what i was like, would probably think i was the most depressed girl on the planet. page after page of sad/lonely typographies and photographs, with intermittent posts going, perhaps, into further detail about how lonely i feel, how upset i am. and to tell you the truth, everything i post here is true, it is indeed how i’m feeling, and i do think about it often.
but not all the time.
the truth is, i’m actually a happy person. i like to make the most of everything, i love to laugh, i love my friends, i love shopping and coffee and television and reading and chocolate and nice weather and all the other things which make people happy. i am not a depressed person. yes, there are things in my life i would like to change; yes, i am absolutely infatuated with someone who couldn’t give a shit about me, but in the end… i am happy. my friends are always here for me. always. they’re the most amazing people i’ve ever met, and i’m proud to call them my friends. i’m so lucky, i have parents who care about me, who want the best for me, and are always trying their hardest to make me happy, even if i don’t realise it. i love my school, i love my house, i love my garden.
i just wanted to post this because… i hate ungrateful people. and i truly feel that anyone reading this blog, would think that i was one of those ungrateful people. i have so much opportunity, i’m so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me, who care about me, and i think it’s a shame to dedicate this most of this blog to the small portion of my life that hurts, as opposed to the large portion which makes me happy every single day.
so, i woke up about half an hour ago. my whole family’s gone to London for 2 days except me and my older brother. which is pretty awesome, we’ve never been left for that long on our own. he’s currently making scrambled eggs for us, and i should go down and make some toast/coffee to go with it. and we’re gonna watch House.
life is good. and i’m gonna try to remind myself of that more often. thanks for reading :) xx